I feel the obligation to etch these thoughts, since I've learned that everything can easily be forgotten and, even worst, be replaced by intolerance and hatred.
I'm thinking about my parents.
I cannot distinguish their 30 year- marriage to the idea that what brought them together, at first, was founded on love, passion, enthusiasm and mutual trust. How did they forget about this? How can two people grow apart so much and become strangers...become "Somebody that I used to know"?
If I think about the "good" I want to incise in my memory, it might seem weird, but I look at our bathroom as the mysterious symbol of the intimacy existing between Thomas and I as a couple. Yes, I think the bathroom is the room of a house that better reflects a couple's dynamic.
I look at our matching electric toothbrushes. They have a story behind that we, only, know. And again, I can't help but comparing, thinking of my family house in Florence where, many years ago, even my mom and dad used to share an electric toothbrush. A last generation one, maybe brought from my dad from one of his business trips abroad. I still can see it. It was a kit with 5 different toothbrush pics...one for each of us. A family kit and although it was getting obsolete, I was attached to it. Weren't they?
I look at everything Thomas and I have and I feel the instinct to protect it. Each photo we took together, each piece of furniture we bought, music we've taught each other or book we've read... is an important component of the puzzle of our life together. How can one give up on all this? I don't know and maybe I cannot even understand certain dynamics right now. I'm sure my parents had good reasons to take different paths and I'm not judging them. I'm just saying that it takes so much work and effort to build a life together that one should defend it against everything. Miscommunication and misunderstandings... at one point my mom felt she was the only one trying to save the relationship, while my dad constantly felt under accusation with a wife too often harsh on him. They stopped talking and they slowly started to blame each other for different reasons. That was the moment when the irreversible damage was done. And it's from there that I want to learn. That I want to learn how important is to remember. Are we destined to follow our parents path? Definitely not. But we must learn from it. We can recognize what life is about to serve us and react in a constructive way.
Now I feel outrageously happy and I want to imprint it and treasure it in my memory. Just for me, in case harder times will come...
So... forgive me if I'm happy, I hope you can cope with this mawkish post, but I could not avoid writing it.